I'm not quite as bad as this....YET!
Due to an extreme drop in my ‘give a fuck’ gauge; I’ve taken to wearing training shoes on the journey to and from work (see picture above). I know it looks a bit crazy but the weather really forced my hand on this one. I took one look outside yesterday morning; looked at my heeled boots and thought “NOPE!”.
Like this (almost exactly)
My walk to work yesterday was pretty terrifying. On top of the fact the street is near lined with big, heavy-looking trees, there are a few big houses with precarious looking solar panels attached to the roofs (is that right? roofs?). I understand people (with money) might want to wean themselves off fossil fuels but I couldn’t help feel annoyed at them for wanting saving the planet, while I was having to worry about getting scoped in the napper by one if the wind decided to carry it off.
SELFISH!!!
I did my best ‘morning run-walk’ past them. You know, that half walk/half run you do in the morning when your joints are just waking up and you haven’t quite got the hang of any co-ordination yet?
Like this? No? Just me?
It was fine anyway, and I was glad I had my stupid boots in a bag so I didn’t have to also worry about doing one of these numbers.
A constant fear....
It was all going well, too. I was loving that I didn’t have to worry about falling while running for the bus after work anymore. But as we know, the universe has its little ways of making you remember that it doesn’t LIKE you to have things easy.
Somewhere, an evil genie is probably laughing at all your fails.
So, after work I rejoiced in the fact that I made the early bus and climbed on with a spring in my step, all happy with my own cleverness. Why doesn’t EVERYONE do this, I thought. Stupid work shoes in a bag, BOOM – on with the trainers. YES!!!
I was like THAT!
Then, it happened.
I did this face (inside)
As I strode widely and confidently, in my own wee smug bubble, I saw something unfold that I was powerless to prevent.
The plastic bag with my cold, hard heels swung with alarming momentum toward the bony knee of an unsuspecting old man sitting at the front of the bus. DINK! The noise actually made me wince.
I'll never enjoy this noise ever again...
The business end of a thick heel THWACKED his frail old knee. He let out a faint groan and looked up at me accusingly, clutching his knee. I apologised then hurried past and took a seat, totally ashamed. I stared at him and watched him rubbing his glass knee for a few seconds until HE probably forgot about it.
But I couldn’t. He didn’t look that old, maybe 60-odd, but he was FRAIL and sitting at the FRONT of the bus. Sometimes I think older men purposely walk past the front seats on the bus just to PROVE they don’t need them. The fact that my poor victim had needed to sit at the front, got me thinking; imagine he had just come out of hospital or something?
I looked at my stupid boots in my stupid bag and my stupid trainers and knew it was the end of, what could have been, a beautiful partnership. I’m simply too clumsy to be trusted.
Probably my next move from here...
So tomorrow, it’s back to normal. SAKE.
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Did You Hear That Noise Outside At 3am? It Was Me! 