It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. Then…

Being a parent at Christmas has it’s advantages, there is so much magic around the whole day – it’s a fantastic time of year. However, it DOES have it’s down-sides.

WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY?

Last night, I fell victim to the dreaded ‘sharp toy in the foot’ injury. After Christmas, the risk of this sort of eye-watering and frankly infuriating accident increases by about 100%.

Most parents will know the score already; you sneak in to tuck the little one(s) in and kiss them goodnight and even though you managed to get over to them with no problem, somehow, when you turn to tip-toe out the room you stand on something tiny, razor-sharp and end up doing that silent scream number.

Like this...

This year, Santa brought the kids a lot of little collectable  toys that we told them to keep in good condition and – apart from the Matt Smith Dr Who figure whose head nearly ended up embedded in the soul of my foot, they’ve managed quite well so far.

Despite a full on (and pretty brutal) clear-out of all the old and broken toys in order to make way for a mountain of new toys, the kids room looks something like this.

NOT REALLY!!

When you have kids, for a period of about a week immediately following Christmas, all hell will break loose in your house. Unless you are super-organised, which I’m not, then it takes time to find space for all the new stuff. If you are trying to cram everything into one room, good luck. If you manage this quick enough then you might avoid hurting yourself, by standing or tripping over things, after dear old St Nick has visited your children.

Good luck trying to make sense of those instruction, folks...

Not to mention the sheer frustration in getting all those board games set up and explaining all the rules. It’s enough to harsh the melons of even the most patient parent.

So, right now, I’m off to set-up and explain ‘Guess Who’ to the kids. If you don’t hear from me again it’s possibly because I’m in a mental-health ward somewhere; curled in the fetal position, sucking my thumb and cursing the name of Santa Claus.

What are your least favourite moments in the aftermath of Christmas?

WISH ME LUCK!

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Summer Is Coming!

YAS!

Yesterday after my ‘late’ day at work I got out the motor and started walking toward the flat. It suddenly hit me. It was fucken still LIGHT. Not only that, it was a nice night and the birds were singing in the trees. I had this warm feeling. SUMMER is COMING.

Now, in previous years the on-coming summer has been a fucken DREAD for me. Simply because every year since I was 16 it has mean’t only one thing….EXAMS. This year however, it doesn’t. THIS year, it means coming home from work to enjoy more of the day. Sitting in the park with my mates getting mashed out my banger. Going out with the kids and taking them places like the park and stuff. Good stuff. HAPPY stuff. The best part is will be that I’ve got MONEY…MONEY for fuck sake MONEY! Not a lot of course, no millions…but money aw the same. I’m feeling aw warm and happy.

YAS!