*dusts hands*
Just when you think you’ve got the year wrapped up, and it’s all gone swimmingly well (except this) – you still have to have a SUCCESSFUL Hogmanay celebration or the whole year gets classed as being shite.
Last night I was in that dreaded position of having to:
1) Get a taxi
2) Ask the taxi driver if he could stop at the shops because I needed a cash point and an off-licence (of course)
At the junction between Merrylee Road and Clarkston Road the taxi driver turned the corner and nearly rear-ended someone. I wasn’t prepared for it because I was too busy looking at my phone. The taxi driver slammed his anchors on and we screeched to a halt. It was quite a hairy moment.
I was just thankful we could continue on the journey or that would have been my night FUCKED.
Seriously mate, can you just phone get me another taxi?
Unfortunately, the driver then went to the wrong shops and had to double back. When we passed the shops the first time the cash point was free but when we got back there were two people there. By the time I’d walked up to it, there were three people. Three people, folks.
It felt like the three people who were in front of me seemed to taking AGES using them. You know the kind of people I mean; the kind that get a balance, a printed balance AND cash with a receipt. I think the second lassie actually took her card out then put it back in again. I actually pictured me punching her in the back of the head, then stepping over her unconscious body – but everyone gets a little impatient when they have a taxi waiting. Don’t they???
Internal rage dilmma: Be kicked to death now or risk a tumour later?
I got into the Off-Licence and there were two lassie pals trying to decide what they were buying AT the counter. The helpful attendant was telling them of special offers and the lassies were debating what to buy. I knew what I wanted, I wanted Vodka. If I was at the counter I’d say, “Oh, you go ahead I can’t decide yet!” but NO- I’m waiting with a taxi running like a total dafty.
I got there eventually at a £3 different in taxi fare, which I fully blame on keeping the driver waiting for 10 minutes while people act like rude arseholes. I eventually arrived at my pals house sweating like a rapist jogging up and down the Broomilaw (too soon?). But seriously, it was a bad start to the night, I was pure sweating.
I.fucking.wish.
As soon as I arrived I could see the funny side of all the delay, I was here now and all was fine. Cut to an hour later when my neck starts KILLING ME. So I have whiplash. I’m starting 2012 with whiplash, which will delay my exercise/fitness/no cake plan by at least a WEEK. What are your immediate plans for January? I’m going to be take painkillers and acting like a wounded cat. The way I see it, things can only get better.
YES!
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Did You Hear That Noise Outside At 3am? It Was Me! 
if its any consolation I started 2012 by being sick at 4am and NOT through the effects of alcohol. Indeed, things can definetly only get better! And dont give up cake, its is one of lifes greatest pleasures!
xx
to be honest, i slept most of hogmany, ate crackers, slept some more and sat on my big bum. I had many an offer but the whole Taxi thing and not being home for yet another 2 days was just too much for me to even want to think about. So a quiet night wae the mammy, the boy on text and munchables was all i needed 🙂 ❤ happy new year ❤ It shall of course get better 🙂
This blog sounds like im moaning, i wasn’t really. It’s just funny when the Universe throws you wee curve-balls just when you think you’ve got away scot-free. lol. I’ve still got birthday cake left over from Andrews birthday, when that’s finished I’ll give up for GOOD.
brilliant had me in hysterics strangely enough i thought it was just me thiese things happend to, keep up the blog x
Ha ha ! very funny Alanna although your sore neck isnt x
“but everyone gets a little impatient when they have a taxi waiting. Don’t they???”
The same feeling when you’re on a bus and late and every light is red and the driver keeps stopping at bus stops and reading the paper and then the driver changes and they have a big conversation followed by tourists getting on and not having a fucking clue where they’re going so the driver gives them nothing short of a fucking review of said tourist attraction, directions, opening times etc while you sit on the bus hoping to catch his eyes in the rear view mirror so that you can mouth the words
HURRY. THE FUCK. UP.
Exactly!!!! EXACTLY! In fact, I would have written a blog about this very fucking thing eventually. Nothing short of insane how people have the audacity to hold up a crowded commuter bus while they fuck about with copper coins at the bottom of their bag trying to make up the fare.
oh god! thats hilarious! i know it must have been rage at the time but you are too funny. i would wanted to punch they lassies in the shop. i canny stand those receipt checkers at cash machines either. dont think they’ve heard of online banking! lol x
PS i cant believe you said curve balls. you need time off work!
omg Samia, you’re right. Kill.me.now. 😮 xxx