I know everyone will worry about their weight at some point in the year. Christmas is usually the peak of that time for me. The thought of sitting round with all my family, who are prone to ripping the piss, makes me suddenly go “oh shiiit!”.
This year it started a bit earlier than usual for me though; when I caught sight of my face in a rear-view mirror last week. It took me a second to recognise my own face, which is when you know it’s bad.
The problem is, I absolutely love myself. I know what you’re thinking – that isn’t a bad thing, surely? Well, let me tell you it CAN be. I call it Reverse Body Dysmorphia…no matter how much weight I put on over the year, I still look in the mirror and think “YES!”.
It’s bad I know. Although I always say self deprecation is the laziest form of humour – I’m still brilliant at it. Why? Because I LOVE myself. Don’t get me wrong, there are things I’d like to change and I make at least 3 strong attempts per year at it; but overall my thought is – well, I’ve got some great features and if there are people who don’t agree then so fucking what. People can get a bit annoyed with you if you make jokes about yourself because they think you are being serious, or like a lot of people do, fishing for compliments. If you don’t take yourself seriously then I don’t think it’s about any of that; it’s about having a laugh because, at the end of the day, you are pretty secure with yourself.
At the moment I’ve been eating roughly two dinners per day for the last week between all the visiting and Christmas get-togethers. I feel like bursting at the seams.
If you are giving yourself the heavy guilt trip about all the shit you end up eating over Christmas, then relax. It doesn’t matter. You can always lose it over the next month or so, no problem. Go look at yourself in the mirror, pick out your favourite feature and say ”a few mince pies won’t change my beautiful (insert)!” then go back to your business. You’ll feel better, unless your favourite feature is cheek-bones or a six-pack.
If you’ve got body issue’s in general then my advice is to completely ignore those parts you don’t like and focus all your love on your GOOD parts. Makes things sooooo much easier. Until you try and get into a pair of Primark jammies, that is!!!
So, even though I feel like I’m reaching critical mass, I’m not about to get all morose about it. Fuck it. It’s CHRISTMAS. Right?
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