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Author Archives: alannaonline
What Can I Say?
I canny imagine you’ve missed me but maybe you’ve noticed I’ve been missing. It’s not that I’ve not had anything to write about; I’ve had loads. It’s not even like I’m not in front of a computer all day, I … Continue reading
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One Of Those Days
I’ve been on backshifts. Backshifts really are the devil’s arsehole. Nothing makes me more annoyed at not having ownership of my own labour, than being at the mercy of shift schedules which force me to work 1-9′s. Everyone should finish … Continue reading
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This Is Just A Tribute…
I lost my phone. I lost it between a parked car and a first floor flat. After months of managing to hold onto it, despite being in some states, I dropped it in the street whilst totally* sober and didn’t … Continue reading
Every Cloud…?
I’ve had a week-long stomach bug. I have to say, I quite enjoy a little stomach flu; probably in a way that only a girl can, especially post christmas. All the sweating, shivering and vomiting aside – I’m quite … Continue reading
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Tagged a, black death, bus, cloud, crowded, every, every cloud, funny, germs, has, joke, lining, nasty, nice, plague, sake, shivering, shut it, silver, stomach bug, stomach flu, sweating, vomiting, weight loss
4 Comments
Awkward Moment In 3…2…1…
Due to an extreme drop in my ‘give a fuck’ gauge; I’ve taken to wearing training shoes on the journey to and from work (see picture above). I know it looks a bit crazy but the weather really forced my … Continue reading
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Tagged 2012, arsehole, assault, awkard, bad, bag, bawbag, beadle, boots, cork on fork, Cunt, dafty, danger, epic arsehole, fail, fail fail fail, glass, health and safety risk, heels, hurrican cunto, hurricane bawbag, im a japseye, its a japseye, its a trampoline, jeremy beadles tiny hand, knee, old man, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, ouch, ruprecht, scottish storms, scottish storms 2012 fail, scottish winds, smug bubble, sore, wind
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Things Can Only Get Better..And Why I have Whiplash
Just when you think you’ve got the year wrapped up, and it’s all gone swimmingly well (except this) – you still have to have a SUCCESSFUL Hogmanay celebration or the whole year gets classed as being shite. Last night I … Continue reading
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Tagged delay, eric, impatient, internal rage, rage, stressed, whiplash
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Hogmanay 2011: It’s A Celebration, Bitches!
So, we are saying goodbye to 2011. This has been a strange year, simply because a lot has happened: I’ve changed my job, made some lovely new friends, celebrated my younger brothers’ wedding to one of my best friends…the list … Continue reading
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Tagged 2011, 2012, amazing, bitches, celebration bitches, comedy, drunk bitches, friendship, happy new year, hogmanay, Love, motivation, new year, new years resolution, several moments, sexy, smug bubble, stand up, wise woman
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It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. Then…
Being a parent at Christmas has it’s advantages, there is so much magic around the whole day – it’s a fantastic time of year. However, it DOES have it’s down-sides. Last night, I fell victim to the dreaded ‘sharp toy … Continue reading
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Tagged baffling, ben ten, ben10, black rage, board, board games, children, christmas, collectables, creepy santa, Dr Who, famous board games, games, geekery, geeks, guess who, hoarding, Injury, instructions, kids, parenthood, parents, santa, sharp, toys
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Reaching Critical Mass
I know everyone will worry about their weight at some point in the year. Christmas is usually the peak of that time for me. The thought of sitting round with all my family, who are prone to ripping the piss, … Continue reading
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Tagged anorexia, body dysmorphia, cake, christmas, dinners, fat, fat christmas, food, food lover, mince pies, nightdress, primark, sex, sexy, shallow hal, thin model, thinspiration
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Mens Buns
I’m going to talk about something you probably think about all the time. BUMS! I was never really been into mens buns until recently. Yes, I say ‘buns’; I think the word ‘bum’ is very unattractive. Anyway, I was never … Continue reading
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Tagged bums, buns, cinammon buns, hot, jeans, men in jeans, mens bums, ohno, sexy, sticky, taylor lautner
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